Socially, Do Triathletes Swim Against the Current?

Lake ResizeWaterfall UGArdener

Triathletes, do you go over the edge when it comes to your time commitment to your training? In your obsessive quest for ultimate endurance levels, do you wonder if friends will forgive for not hearing from you for 6 months in a stretch? To assist you in avoiding pitfalls of etiquette when you’re in the zone, here is a list of the triathlete’s top 10 social miscues:

  1. Displacing the host of your dinner party by requesting a spot at the head of the table in order to accommodate your IV drip pole and saline solution apparatus.
  2. Integrating your company picnic with your workout by modifying your bike training course with tight loops so every couple of kilometers you can ride by and toss off comments to coworkers.
  3. If a friend who attends Eater’s Anonymous announces they have just earned their first token:  jumping in to recount your story of losing 11 lbs in one race.
  4. Mounting an underwater camera on your chest to broadcast live video of various views of the bottom of the pool during your laps (and later forgetting to turn off the camera in the change room).
  5. Inviting friends to join you on fasts, cleanses and 3 hour training runs.
  6. Introducing proud parents to course elevation charts and recent route maps when they are showing photos of their new baby.
  7. Programming texts to give automated 5-10 minute updates, making you appear to be relevant to conversations.
  8. On dates and at social meals:  prominently displaying race induced blisters, corns and carbuncles in open sandals, year round.
  9. Repeatedly reciting intimate details of the race in which you contended with flaming diarrhea and dehydration but recovered to shave 90 seconds off your finish time.
  10. Wearing your race bib to weddings, funerals and high school reunions.

(Waterfall photo by UGArdener)

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